


Nothing As It Seems

by sinatratheghost



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: ? - Freeform, Angst, Kissing, M/M, Something happened there, Unrequited Love, alcohol use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-26
Updated: 2019-04-26
Packaged: 2020-02-04 20:29:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18611962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinatratheghost/pseuds/sinatratheghost
Summary: Frank always hated this part, lying on his bed, three sheets to the wind as the guy he likes does the same damn thing. Not touching, not talking. Just doing the same damn thing.





	Nothing As It Seems

**Author's Note:**

> the title is a pearl jam song that has nothing to do with the plot but you should listen to it.

Frank always hated this part, lying on his bed, three sheets to the wind as the guy he likes does the same damn thing. Not touching, not talking. Just doing the same damn thing.

He thinks that Gerard's scrolling through his phone just across his room, but that could be any light there, he didn't feel like looking.He was at a point of drinking where it wasn't fun anymore; His head hurt, his eyes hurt, he couldn't think straight, he couldn't move.He knew Gerard could handle his liquor, and he was dumb to drink this much with him over.Though it was all said and done, Frank just kept on thinking.

"Frank, do we have any more vodka?" Gerard questioned to him towards the bed.Frank just slowly nudged his eyes over, squinting and nodding as he just shoved over the bottle they had been sharing."I think- 'Mm.. Ithink 'm done for t'night.." Frank tried to vocalize, trying to keep his cool even though he knew drunk him could manage more words than that- Well, more than sober Frank could, at least. 

Gerard giggled at that, and the same bastard heart fluttered and came up in his throat, causing a slight smile to appear at its wake."Alrighty then, Frankie.'M just gonna make another drink.." Frank nodded, but to anyone else it'd just be a nudge in his direction. Frank couldn't count how many drinks he had, how much liquor he put in each, or whether he took something with it. All he knew is that he definitely wouldn't fucking remember this.There was a slight agitation to all of this, which was exactly the opposite of what he drank for.He didn't wanna seem like a dickhead, or an asshole to Gerard.Tonight was supposed to be a hang-out night, but it was the first time they really properly hung out alone.Usually Mikey would be there, or other friends, with Gerard in the corner mingling with a red Solo cup instead of a person.Frank always paid attention to this- Hell, he always paid attention to Gerard.It wasn't a crush, or so he thought.That boy was just so damn interesting.How could you not take interest in the brooding, hair-in-eye goth in the corner, sometimes sketching away when he caught a glimpse of him sober. 

He saw Gerard stumble back into his room with another flash of light in his direction leaking in from behind his door, another cup or two in his hand, probably screwdrivers.Gerard plopped down on his bed, which Frank used as a cue to sit up as best as he can against the wall."W..Wait. C'mere. Gee. C'mere." Frank tried his best to act more sober, thinking if Gerard even saw him in his real messy drunk state, that wouldn't be very ideal.Gerard only sent a raised eyebrow and hesitantly shuffled over as he placed his drink on the nightstand.Usually, drunk Frank wasn't this intuitive.Usually, drunk Frank did whatever drunk Frank felt like doing; But this time he had to have an excuse.This time, the excuse would be the famous 'Sorry about last night, I was drunk off my ass.'. Frank rubbed his eyes, trying to stabilize himself, as he felt the weight on the bed dip next to him and a nice warmth appear with it.There sat Gerard, looking at him almost expectingly at Frank—who had no plan of action.

 

"You uh- You got something in your eye.." Even though it was mostly dark in the room, Gerard's eyebrows threaded in almost an innocent curiosity, almost worry, as Frank leaned in with fingers pinched and a squint on his own face.

Then, everything had to stop.Because Frank was a pussy, and nothing had to go right.Grabbing at the smallest piece of nothing, Frank then stood back and smiled stupidly.Something held him back, just as something held the 'what the hell are you doing?' question in Gerard's chest.It was just awkward. 

"Frank, do you listen to Alice in Chains?" Gerard asked almost feebly, looking for something to fill the space with.Frank nodded, with Gerard almost looking like he was preparing for a whole speech about this band with the way his eyebrows shot up and he collected all of his thoughts in the moment of complete silence between the two."Well, what I was- um, what I was gonna say was, one of my favorite albums by them is called Jar of Flies, and the reason why it's one of my favorite albums is because it was such an oddball in their discography.Prior to the release of that album-", count one, sniffle, "Prior to the release of that album they'd released two other albums called.. Uhm.. Facelift and.. Dirt, yeah, Dirt, and they were such heavy, hard hitting albums, to listen to the smooth intro track Rotten Apple with the guttural vocals and hard guitars of Dirt in mind, it was so weird.. For other people I mean! I liked it." Sniffle count, two. 'Um' count, who knows. "It's just like, it's such a comfortable album.It's so melancholic in a way where they completely stripped themselves of the gritty and the, uh, I guess, dirt," Gerard chuckled to himself, as Frank rested his chin on his hand and zoned out to the sound of his voice. "they just took all their blues or I suppose more 'jazzy' influences, and their twangy guitars and stuffed it in one album.No one expected it from them, too.But they did it so well it became one of the I guess.. Um, most iconic albums of the 1990's." 

 

Frank liked Alice in Chains, don't get him wrong, but where the hell did Gerard find the time to think about this stuff?He liked Nutshell, and like, Man in the Box, but why..-

 

"It's just a great contribution to the overall music-sphere.Don't you think?"Gerard asked, then looking back to Frank with his expressive hands now still.Frank's dreamy-lovestruck eyes stilled to normal, and he tried his hardest not to laugh."Oh! Um, yeah." He smiled again, the uncomfortable silence filling the air between them once again.Frank, being the childish person he is, just couldn't let that go unnoticed.Cracking up into a fit of giggles quickly made Gerard's face contort to something of concern, then laughing himself.

"Whaaaat? What was so funny? I was being- I was being serious!" Gerard laughed through it, with Frank just continuing to giggle to himself over just how fucked the situation was."Nothing! You just are so... Weird." Frank made sure to cease his laughing, with Gerard then becoming very confused, very quickly.

 

"Is that a bad thing?" he gently questioned, almost like he'd been thinking that the whole time, but it was never confirmed.Frank wanted to roll his eyes at the tone of it, but he continued. "No, it's nice.You sound so.. Into it.I like that about you, and uh, about people." A breathy laugh escaped his lips at the end, a comfortable smile now apparent.Gerard shyly smiled, another thing Frank wanted to, though sarcastically, roll his eyes at.He was just so aggravatingly cute sometimes, and he couldn't have him."Well, um, thank you.You're weird sometimes too, y'know.Like that one time you were over here hanging out with Mikey and you kept on saying puns about shit around the house."Another breathy giggle escaped Gerard's lips near the end of his sentence, and suddenly, the air around them was only comfortable.

"Oh shut up, they were good!" Frank giggled again, staring back to Gerard as they locked eyes.There wasn't anything awkward about it, guessing it was just a mutual decision to take the chance to look over eachother, features, specific things.Frank learned today that Gerard had a small speck on the side of his nose, and that one eye was bigger than the other, but each eye still was a compliment to every feature. Gerard had learned that Frank had a small beauty mark on his cheek, and one eyebrow was more arched than the other, and somehow, every feature deemed to be somewhat feminine wasn't feminine at all.His thought process stilled and his brain short-circuited almost as he felt a small touch to his nose.Side of his nose, at that. 

There wasn't tension with that. 

 

It happened fast, with Frank closing the gap between them and Gerard trying his best to keep his heart from launching up into his throat.It wasn't forceful, it wasn't like a launch onto the other man, it was just a 'do something already' move, which Gerard most certainly didn't pick up. 

He wasn't mad, nor was he over the moon.It was just impulse, probably.Kissing back gently as opposed to Frank's more powerful, messy approach, kept things still just as they were.Eventually, Frank pulled back with this stupid-fucking-smile on his face, one that says he didn't regret one second of it. 

Gerard didn't want to say anything.It was just something that happened, nothing else.He didn't think of himself as romantically attracted to Frank or anything, but it wasn't a horrid thought in his mind.He just.. He needed to think.

 

Frank however, was over the moon.That had been his potential energy, why he got drunk, why he decided to hang out with Gerard and Gerard only.It was such an intense moment.His chest bubbled with pride and his face reflected only that.The reaction he got from Gerard wasn't disrupting a single thought in his happy-rage mind. 

 

"I think- I think I'm gonna go to bed.Frank.I'm not mad.At like, you, or this, or like, what happened.. I-I'm tired.. Just.." Gerard fumbled out the most tired excuse in his entire life, with as quick as he could in his drunken state, got up, and simply left.It wasn't an odd thing to do.His house was only a few blocks down, and Frank surely would let him.It was just the fading smile on Frank's face, and the small emptiness growing in his chest, taking over the proud glow.He couldn't mutter out an 'Okay!', or a 'Bye!'.Frank wasn't sure what was okay to say just then. 

 

Maybe that wasn't what he needed for the night.


End file.
